My baby is in NICU

From the previous post about me giving birth. it’s getting too “dinding perkataan” so I am breaking the stories into two parts.

Cause and Effect

Every action has its cause and effect, as I mentioned earlier.

I spent my hospital days from Sept 15 with no baby beside me.

Dr. S*H blamed it on my refusal on no episiotomy to hasten the process, which was why my baby inhaled meconium (baby’s poop) inside her.

“Thick, thick, thick,” she said to other nurse as my baby was cleaned outside the labour room.

I was unable to move as the anaesthetic paralyses me still but I was told by the nurses to move by myself.

Both of them just looked and did nothing, even after I explained I could not move my feet.

I asked for help because the maternity pad they made me wear are fully heavy from the blood that it stained a big chunk of the mattress. Like a normal expected tv script, I was told by the nurses to be patient while she continued talking to her colleague.

I was left alone by myself again. I was asked if I wanted to drink, but the nurse put the glass out of my reach.

ಠ_ಠ!

I had two types of IV dripped inside me, one was saline and the other was pitocin (to shrink my uterus due to the excessive bleeding).

I found out that I was haemorrhaging with 600ml+ of blood out of me.

No blood was being given to replace that. And I was not sure if I should get one either. No one to explain.

I was being treated like I have a mental problem, the morning after. After I cried non-stop listening to other baby cries around me.

As if crying is a sin frowned upon and everyone is normal, prim and proper, except you.

A doctor named Iqbal came to me, wanted to take 2ml of my blood. I asked what for. And I believed he was taken aback by that.

Collecting whatever small amount of patience I have left, I then calmly explained to him my situation, and he in turn was not being defensive.

I told him how alone I felt. He assured me that I could go and see my baby in Newborn/NeoNatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) in a while.

That was early morning. And for a moment I felt a bit relieved that someone finally wanted to understand me, or at least showed a decency standing beside me long enough trying to understand me.

Close to noon, someone woke me up. It was Dr. S*H and her entourage.

“Do you feel this anxiety often? Do you panic often?” Dr. S*H asked me during her morning round.

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